Leaping in Faith

It's hard to trust in our decisions.

Second-guessing, contingency plans, and questions of "what if" can threaten the result of a choice.

I had the hardest time trusting my decision to drop pre-med. I had come into college ready to do the biggest, baddest, and toughest pre-whatever path. And it took me a while to realize that vocations require desire, a need, and ability. My reasoning for pre-med was wrong and after a while, I realized that I did not have the desire to become a doctor (I just had a desire to challenge myself). So I decided to drop pre-med.

But doubts began creeping up and rooting me in place. I looked ahead at the uncertain future of not having post-graduation plans. I looked at my friends brimming with ambition and glitzy plans of becoming doctors. I wondered if I were truly reaching my potential.

And these doubts continued until I experienced a sign that confirmed how wrong medicine was for me. Physical Chemistry woke me up to the harsh reality that I had limitations. I realized that I could try as hard as I possibly could, and still learn only about 40-50% of the material expected of me. I aimed to pass. And I was so proud when I ended up with a C+. I knew that I could not do med school if I had to face years of courses with difficulty on par with Physical Chemistry.

So I trusted my decision to drop pre-med. Slowly but surely, I opened myself to life, the people around me, and the eventual calling to be a teacher.

For you see, my doubts had blindfolded me to wander in a haze. I was unable to move forward or move backwards. I was unable to learn from exploring my decision. Trust, on the other hand, let me jump into a vast unknown that was ripe of learning experiences. Without my obsession with being pre-med, I could look with new eyes, find my calling to be a teacher, and leap into answering that call.

So trust yourself and leap in faith.


PS: the original post got deleted so I had to rewrite this frustratingly from memory. Hope you enjoy this post (it counts as two)!